For goodness sake, if you aren’t really a lady, at least pretend to be one around me.

This is not a treat, but a promise: I will sneak into my son’s room like a ninja and check his phone nightly for inappropriate sexts or naughty pictures so you best not be sending ’em.

When you get to know my son, you’ll get to know me too. So be sure you’re comfortable with me seeing what you’re sending.

One more thing, he does not take his phone to bed with him. The style is to show as much as you can at the top, the middle and the bottom.

It may hurt her for a minute but she will appreciate your honesty.

Do not be responsible for hardening a woman’s heart. Get to know her family & friends and let your family & friends get to know her.

You and I may only ever agree on one thing: My son is the greatest young man in the history of the entire universe. I can and will judge your trampy book by its cleavage showing/bare midriff blazing/stiletto heel stomping/false eyelash wearing cover…and so will everybody else. I don’t want to see what’s going on between your legs and I certainly don’t want to find out the hard way either.

Love him, respect him, but don’t be all psycho-needy about it. Hey, I was a dramatic teenage girl once upon a time too. My son didn’t save every monetary gift he ever received to blow it on you at Forever 21. Use a Facebook account to add a comment, subject to Facebook's Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.

As much as I want that lucky girl to be the perfect girl for him, I also want him to be prepared for her. Your father & I will make sure you always have money for your dates.

I begged for her to come guest post as it is simply the best advice a mother could ever give her son concerning dating.

“The idea of dad polishing his gun while meeting the new boyfriend is often the lazy commentary when it comes to how fathers will handle their daughters dating.”We believe this commentary is just as harmful in perpetuating stereotypes.