In ‘olden times’ (read: pre text, email, IM, Facebook, Twitter, blogs etc), if someone wasn’t calling you and arranging to see you regularly, plus the relationship wasn’t growing, you knew they weren’t making an effort and that they had , that they are interested although we may realise on some level that it’s not as much as we would like. Here’s the thing: If you expecting bare basics such as being called and to be able to call on a regular basis, is going to scare them off, you 1) have to recognise that the relationship is doomed and that 2) you could stand to raise your standards somewhat.

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Using Facebook pages to force the other person to get in touch by posting TMI (too much information) messages Sending emails complaining about the relationship and listing their shortcomings, what the problems are on a regular basis – I call this People Who Write Too Much. Breaking up via email and text, and one of the most frequent occurrences, breaking No Contact via text and email.

We engage in lazy communication because it’s low risk and ‘safe’.

If they’re reluctant to move away from texts and emails into regular phone calls and seeing one another, they’re hedging their bets, checking out other options, or reluctant to give you the impression that you’re a priority or that you’re in a relationship.

People who are actually in a relationship or even dating one another, can pick up the phone to one another.

Just because sex is involved and they’re nice when they do eventually speak to or see you, it doesn’t make it a If they predominantly want to communicate via text, email etc, they’re passing time with you and keeping you on the fringes of their life, not the ‘inner circle’.

As they say in ‘Meet The Parents’ – you’re not in the “circle of trust”.If they started out calling you all the time and they’ve faded out to emailing, texting, IM’ng etc, they’ve gone off the boil.The novelty has worn off and they’re managing down your expectations.If they’re not calling you regularly or at all, and instead are opting for distanced means of communication, they are not that interested in you – they’re stoking your fire for when they next want your company.It doesn’t matter if it’s not what you want or you didn’t ‘verbally’ agree to it – by participating and acting like it’s a full on relationship, they end up getting more for less.A couple of years ago, I spoke with a reader that was struggling to get over a six month ‘relationship’ where it had become apparent that he had a limited interest and was seeing other women.