That means, if she texts back how she wants to just hang as friends, say, “” but don’t accept the offer and don’t keep texting back and forth with her or planning “friendly” hangouts.If you are meant to be friends someday, it will be because common interests and acquaintances bring you into each other’s orbit. I know this advice is coming with a whopping helping of “ but please know that there is love, here, too, for you, and for my younger self, and for my ex, President Earnest B.

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I think you are trying to show how thoughtful and empathetic you are being, but what’s coming across is so, very, very, very condescending.

She is the lead in her own story, not a character in yours. There is no need to magnanimously proclaim your “openness” to “sharing your life” with her or overdo it on reassuring us or her about how “wonderful” and “brave” she is or give us your “interesting”, university-educated resume & hobbies vs.

Dear “Casting”, I’m glad you wrote to me before talking to this lady because you should not ever say the thing about how you’re “casting a female lead for your story” in a breakup conversation unless you want to be made fun of for decades, like the guy in college who told me that I wasn’t quite “First Lady Material*” after a private tour of the White House with his bigwig donor family, less than a month into dating him, on Valentine’s Day.

He was and is a sweet man (and is happy as a clam with the First Lady of His Heart these days, as far as I know) but neither Twitter nor I will never forget his very earnest, deadly serious, incredibly detailed description of my lack of qualifications for a post I neither wanted nor knew I was running for.

Literally all you have to do from here is to not go out with her again.

Since she already asked you out again and you agreed – enough to start making a plan – there is some backtracking to be done. Text her (yes, text) and say: ” You will be tempted to spare her feelings by being ambiguous and letting her down easy. If you are really worried about “grievously wounding her underdeveloped ego,” by not returning her feelings, the best thing you can do for her is to get out of her life quickly so that she can move on from thinking of you as a prospect for romance.

I’m a much more confident and relaxed person than I was.

I know myself well enough to know conversation is important to me.

When I asked her what she enjoys doing, she said that she didn’t really have any hobbies, but that she enjoys hanging out.