That's something you won't see on TV or in the movies, but it happens a lot. The "love hangover" was a strange occurrence for me.

But nobody talks about this kind of thing in public.

And the movie and TV portrayals of couples having sex before marriage never present it either.

In fact, I might even like to punch myself in the nose for it. For example, I had a college sweetheart, the girl of my dreams. We totally "clicked." We waited for awhile, then, through my initiation, we started having sex. I stopped wanting to get to know her on any other level.

And so it goes without saying that when I get married, I'm not going to like the idea that someone else has had his way with my wife. Do you like the idea of someone else being with your wife? And so, instead of growing closer together, we actually started drifting apart.

The two things were this: 1) I lost respect for the girl (even though I didn't want to); and 2) she began to mistrust me (even though she didn't want to).

I don't know why this happened, I just know that it did.And while something inside her is telling her it's the right thing to do, something inside the guy is telling him just the opposite, yet he proceeds. For the physical pleasure no doubt, but also, I think, for another reason: it makes him feel like a man.But there is a great irony in that, for what is manly about deceiving a woman?It's like no one wants to acknowledge that it's happening, even though it is. Because we'll go into the marriage with me having more respect for her and her having more trust in me.One thing I've learned: if a girl doesn't trust a guy, she doesn't want to give herself wholly to him.And the guy -- who doesn't treasure his wife because of the sex before marriage -- still wants sex but not as a total bonding experience with his wife. And consequently they'll have better and more frequent sex because they respect each other more and love each other more deeply.