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Traditionally, the femme in a butch-femme couple was expected to act as a stereotypical feminine woman and provide emotional support for her butch partner. The meanings of these terms vary and can evolve over datnig.

Rush reported that women held strong opinions, that "role distinctions needed to be sharply drawn," and that not being one or the other earned strong disapproval from both groups.

Femmes may or may not be attracted to butches, but the contrast of these two types of lesbian ways of being are sweet, wonderful and give us an idea of how fluid life can be for lesbian couples. Most become extremely vulnerable in the bedroom behind closed doors. Femme lesbians aren’t trying to be straight women trying out lesbians.

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She can pass for being straight, but we know she’s not because she said so and because of who she is with (i.e. A butch is the lesbian who will never put on a dress or wear makeup, a bra or thong that comes from Victoria’s Secret. She’s the one who builds houses, drives a motorcycle and loved her military service because she could wear a uniform just like the guys. Femme lesbians are seen a lot more often in the media and get the leading celesbian roles in lesbian media. It sparked the stereotypical question that is still often asked, “So who’s the guy? ” It’s a stupid question because no one is trying to be the guy in a lesbian relationship, and no one is arguing about who wears pants versus who wears the dress or who’s going to have the baby.

We are in a time period where the femme lesbian gets all the attention because straight male culture enjoys fantasizing about a night with two lesbians. Femmes are no more interested in hooking up with a guy than butches, and straight male porn creates fantasies about lesbians that are not even close to true.

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For example, argues that persons cannot be datibg butch since it constitutes a conflation of with butchness.