Interestingly, to help offset this, R’ Shlomo has made an offer to any Shadchan of ,000 that sets up a successful Shidduch between a 25 year old woman (or older) with a man the same age or younger. Young women will never be convinced to wait until they are 22 to start dating. There is another issue that impacts negatively on Charedi Shiduchim: The idea of parents treating it like a business deal. The unbelievable pressure that parents must feel to support their sons in law with money they don’t have must be enormous.

What I mean is that it has become an unfortunate norm in the Charedi world for parents of a ‘good learner’ to extort huge sums of money to support their son in Kollel in the event they get married as a prior condition for a date. In a typically large family where there are many daughters to marry off, where is any middle class parent going to find the money to do that? Desperate parents have been known to double mortgage their house; sell their life insurance policies; work well past retirement; and even borrow from free loan societies in order to support their sons in law in learning. But I still feel obligated to suggest a way out for them. The idea of automatically supporting a son in law should be abandoned.

The timestamp is only as accurate as the clock in the camera, and it may be completely wrong.

They should value young men who are Ehrlich, Koveah Itim, with good Midos and a good work ethic.

Becoming a professional, a businessman, or a tradesman should not be put down in any way.

Is there any wonder that some people resort to fraud or worse to meet those obligations? The work ethic should be restored to the way it was just a few short decades ago - to the time I was dating.

Young men – even in the Charedi world – prepared for the future. They went to college and thereby prepared for decent jobs and careers. I do not recall any one my contemporaries – even the biggest Masmidim, getting married for dollars.

You won't have bachsh on Friday night," referring to a traditional Bukharian dish.

Abayev is one of approximately 40,000 to 50,000 Bukharian Jews in Queens, according to Bukharian In the 16th century, Bukhara, an ancient city in Uzbekistan and a commercial center on the Great Silk Road, became a center for the Jewish population in Central Asia, and the community took on the name Bukharian Jews.

According to this article, some Shadchanim estimate that fully 10% of the young women in the current Charedi world remain unwillingly single.

If that is anywhere near true, then I would suggest that the Shidduch ‘catastrophe’ is cataclysmic! Men tend to not be ready until about age 23 since they want to get a lot of learning under their belt before accepting the responsibilities of marriage. The older they get, the less desirable they become.

There is a lot more to say but this post is long enough. The current efforts to change things are not nearly enough. If we really want to change things for the better, we need to get serious and make some of these major changes.