Which bills are they paying to have this much power in your life?Candice: Despite the popularity of shows like , do you think that interracial relationships still face a stigma in pop culture and society? However, with in particular, there’s some elements of the old stereotype of a Black woman waiting in the wings for a white man who already has his white wife and family. I like that in both shows the Black women are able to express a full spectrum of emotions.Learn more about Christelyn via her blog, Beyond Black & White, and check out her book, Swirling: How to Date, Mate, and Relate Mixing Race, Culture, and Creed.

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But how would you respond to women who feel this way?

Christelyn: Black women have a unique set of challenges in the dating market.

I often hear the old, tired line that black folks need to work on themselves before they can mingle romantically with other races. You can still advocate for change and love your blackness if you have a non-black spouse.

Being in an interracial relationship doesn’t make you Black.

Since Black women have been hesitant to date interracially for so long, I do consider it “progress” that many of them are discovering that different races of men are willing to love and cherish them. Candice: Something I’ve also noticed lately is that more of my Black female friends have begun to look outside their race specifically due to their frustrations with dating Black men.

I feel like this approach could be a bit problematic (because I don’t believe race determines the quality of man).

Yet we’re statistically the least likely to date interracially. My goal is to encourage Black women to exercise all of their options. Discount no one because of melanin, or lack thereof. Candice: What advice would you offer women who don’t date interracially because of what people might think? I know a few women who would never date interracially, despite the knowledge that men of other races are interested in them.

Candice: Why do you think there are so many Black women who don’t consider dating outside their race? Our country’s shameful history of slavery is often used as a club to beat Black women into submission about dating interracially, particularly when it comes to white men. I would say that if you’re the type of person who is overly concerned with what other people think about your life, then interracial dating is not for you.

I’ve often been called by my critics, “The Chief Bed Wench,” because I’m seen at the forefront of this issue. But many Black women are sensitive to that kind of insult and outright disapproval. We want the people in our lives to approve of the men we bring home. It comes down to what makes you happy and what makes your heart feel like it’s found its home.